Subway Straws Suck

OK, maybe it isn’t the straws themselves that suck.  But the way they’re packaged is pretty annoying.  If you’re not sure what I mean, basically the plastic wrap on the straw is too tight or something and they’re impossible to get out.  The typical way to remove a straw would be to hold the entire package and bang one end on a table; the ability of the straw to slide within the packaging allows it to pierce the end and emerge for your drinking pleasure.  The Subway people have decided it would be a good idea to make the plastic either too tight, or somewhat sticky (causing friction which prevents sliding), but either way the net result is a straw that’s impossible to unsheathe.  And I’m stuck doing the same basic method but only like an inch-worm (like Bob would say, baby steps).  And the plastic is pretty tough to tear, making the alternate method of ripping the middle and pulling from both ends (or shooting at your lunchmate) nearly impossible as well.

This might be the longest anyone’s ever put into ranting about a straw wrapper.  I feel better, almost good enough to go get another turkey and american on wheat with an undrinkable drink.